Add all ingredients except the dairy to the bowl of a food processor and pulse until combined and crumbly.

With the machine running, add the dairy, one tablespoon at a time, and continue processing until the dough comes together and pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

If you don't have a food processor, add the ingredients to a large mixing bowl and use a pastry cutter/pastry blender to work everything together. Add the dairy one tablespoon at a time, and continue blending until the texture is sandy but holds together when you gather a palmful and squeeze.

Lightly flour a cutting board or countertop. Divide the dough in half and place one piece between two pieces of plastic wrap. Roll into a rectangle about 1/4" thick, straightening the edges as best you can. Wrap tightly and set aside. Repeat with the other half. Put both wrapped dough rectangles in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Unwrap one of the rectangles and, using a ruler or eyeballing it, press 1" marks into the dough along one each of the short and long edges. Use a rolling cutter — fluted, if you have one — to cut the marked dough into 1" squares (use a ruler to make ultra-straight lines — it sounds over the top, but you'll make pretty little squares that way).

Use a bamboo skewer or chopsticks to poke a deep hole through the center of each square. Transfer the crackers to a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Repeat with the other half of the dough.

Refrigerate the sliced dough squares on their baking sheet for at least 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 325°F, and position rack in center of oven.

Bake the crackers for 18 to 22 minutes. Check frequently towards the end of baking to ensure they don't scorch on top.

The homemade Cheez-its are ready to eat as soon as they're cool enough to handle!