Warning. You’ll feel bad about making these bars. You’re going to look at the ingredients and mutter, “I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I can’t.”
But then you’re gonna make them anyway. And you’ll be happy about it. Because here’s the thing.
The holidays are hard, people. Yeah, sure, there’s glittery trees and sparkly lights and glowy candles and big red bows. But there’s also the shopping. And the planning. And the cooking. Pressures at work (or pressures because of no work). Missing loved ones who have passed.
So, yes, these bars are bad. But they taste SO good. And you’ll feel better about the ingredients — feel good even — once you shove one in your maw. Because sometimes, you just have to.
And it’ll be just what you need when the in-laws call to say they’ll be in town for five days instead of three. Or the bag of net lights that worked when you packed them away last year are on the fritz now. Or the Xbox console over which your kids have been dripping in beggary just went on backorder.
“But, SoupAddict, was it really necessary to add rum to an already decadent recipe?”
Yes, it really was.
Because if you didn’t add rum, they would just be plain ole s’mores bars, which you can google and find 323,000 recipes for. You don’t need SoupAddict for plain ole s’more bars. But if you want s’mores bars overload, you’ve come to the right place.
Oh, and in case you were wondering whether it’s possible to pick up one of these babies without getting all sticky gooey and chocolately, the answer is, not a chance.
Drunken S’mores Bars
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Bake time: 15 minutes
Yield: 9 squares
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk (either full fat or fat free)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons rum
1 1/2 cups old fashioned rolled oats
1 1/2 cups graham crackers, crumbled into pea-sized bits (about 6 sheets of standard graham crackers), divided
1 cup mini marshmallows
1 cup (about 4 oz) your favorite dark chocolate, chopped (or use chips)
1. Preheat oven to 350°F and place rack in center of oven. Grease an 8” x 8” pan and line with parchment or wax paper, leaving an overhang on two opposite sides to assist with removal later.
2. Melt the butter in a sauce pot over medium heat. Add flour and stir until you create a light brown paste (roux). Add the sweetened condensed milk slowly, stirring constantly, and incorporate thoroughly into the roux. Add the salt and rum, and continue heating until the mixture is nice and thick. Set aside and allow to cool slightly.
3. Combine the oats and 1 cup of graham cracker crumbs in a large mixing bowl. Add the milk mixture to the oats and graham crackers and stir until thoroughly coated. Spread the mixture in the prepared pan and pat firmly to distribute evenly.
4. Top the mixture with the chopped chocolate, followed by the marshmallows. Sprinkle the remaining 1/2 cup of graham cracker crumbs on top. Use the flat of your hand to gently press on the top layers.
5. Bake for 15 minutes, turning the pan halfway through to promote even baking.
6. Optional: after baking, brown the marshmallows by placing under the broiler for a minute or two. Do not walk away from the oven — the marshmallows will brown very quickly!
7. Remove and allow to rest in the pan for 15 minutes. Use the parchment paper overhang as handles to easily remove the bars from the pan and place on a cooling rack. Use a sharp knife to cut the bars — they’ll be ooey, gooey and wonderful.