Friendsgiving Food Ideas & Tips

Friendsgiving is a great time to get together with friends and loved ones and celebrate the spirit of Thanksgiving. It’s an opportunity to set aside the stress of the holidays and spend time with the most special people in our lives. Whether you’re hosting or attending a Friendsgiving celebration, I’ve assembled helpful tips and a round-up of potluck-worthy recipes to make your Friendsgiving memorable and delicious.

If I could be candid for a moment without getting into too much trouble, Thanksgiving is often about family traditions, and catching up with relatives we don’t see often throughout the rest of the year. Lucky are the families that are close and companionable, filling the day with joy and contentment. And then there are those gatherings that are fraught with mismatched personalities and tension simmering just below the surface (or sometimes right out in the open).

Friendsgiving, on the other hand, is the opportunity to gather with the family you choose. The family you’ve created through enduring relationships. Obnoxious drunk uncles and judgy cousins need not apply.

Party Planning

The first rule, it must be said, is that there doesn’t have to be any rules, if that’s not your vibe. Take any advice here that fits, and leave the rest!

The goal here to not burden just one person with all of the cooking, but rather share the effort so that everyone can enjoy a stress-free day.

Logistics

• Don’t wait too long to send the invites, especially if the day you have in mind might conflict with your guests’ family plans. There’s no set or traditional day for Friendsgiving, so do what’s best for you. You could even plan a special event to go along with it: e.g., plan Friendsgiving for Giving Tuesday and get the group together to do some volunteer work in person, or do a group donation.
• Pick a food theme for the event. It will help guide you and your guests in the creation of the menu. Happily, the options are wide open, anything from a traditional Thanksgiving feast to an entire meal of just fun appetizers.
• Whether the host picks the menu, or guests bring whatever they want, make sure they coordinate with the host so that three people don’t bring Brussels sprouts and no one brings the mac and cheese (the horror).
• To that end, create a signup sheet, so that everything lives in one place, and everyone can see how the event is shaping up. Google Drive is free and participants can use it without having a Google account. You can create a spreadsheet or a document for the menu items. And even ask questions or create polls for with Google Forms. (Not hyping services from the Googs here; it just happens to be a free option that most people will have used before.)
• If there are guests who physically cannot participate in food preparation, give them a small/reasonable list of purchasable items to bring: A tub of spreadable butter, whipped cream topping or ice cream, two-liter bottles of soda, extra ice, etc. — items that even can be ordered by them for delivery or pick-up at the grocery store.
• In general, though, simply not knowing how to cook is not really a great excuse to get out of bringing food lol. Boxed stuffing is super easy and perfectly acceptable. A foil pan of frozen Parker House rolls that can go straight into the oven. A pumpkin pie from the bakery. There are solutions for everyone!

Tips for the Host

• Make sure your guests keep you updated with exactly what they’re bringing, and any needs they’ll have from you. And that includes how they’ll be transporting and serving their dishes, and whether they’ll need to be refrigerated and warmed up. E.g., if five of your guests are bringing slow-cooker dishes, you’ll need to plan for five electrical outlets to be available. If someone is bringing soup, who’s supplying the bowls and spoons? Work out all of those logistics in advance so that you’re not scrounging for dinnerware and oven space at the last minute.
• Ask each guest to plan for their leftovers: What are they going to do with anything that isn’t eaten? Are they taking it home? Are they going to divide it up among whoever wants a portion? Are they bringing appropriate containers with them? Depending on your crowd, you could also simply state that all food goes home with its cook, so that there’s no confusion.
• Don’t hesitate to be clear about the dress code. The “what to wear” factor is sometimes a source of tension, especially if your guests have never been to your home before. You don’t have to necessarily say, “wear jeans” or “bring on the little black dress.” You could just describe the atmosphere you’re hoping to create.
• If you’re planning activities other than chatting around a big table, make sure that everyone approves, or that participation is comfortably optional. The introvert in your group might not appreciate karaoke. The high-energy guest might not want to sit through Barbenheimer.
• Be upfront about the plus-one situation. A casual walk-around party with appetizers is more forgiving than a sit-down dinner — “there are exactly 10 chairs.”
• Remind your guests to be upfront about their dietary preferences and restrictions. Be prepared to jump in and contribute a dish yourself if the menu looks like it’s going to leave someone without a lot of options. Ask your guests to label their food with ingredients so others can made appropriate choices.
• If you have a no-shoes policy in your house, make sure you communicate that in advance and tell your guests what to expect (i.e., you’ll provide disposable slippers, or they’re on their own in their socks, etc.).
• Make sure you have extra garbage bags on hand. And maybe some disposable plastic grocery bags, for unanticipated storage or toting.
• Stock up on lots of ice! Get the big bag, and an inexpensive styrofoam cooler, if you don’t have room in your freezer. If you’re going to have bottles or cans chilling on ice, make sure you have a separate, generously-sized container of clean drinking ice as well.
• Although you should definitely not stress yourself out cooking, you might want to provide — and announce — a couple of core dishes. Something that might be hard to transport and hold at the proper temperature. A platter of turkey or ham. A big pot of soup.
• Have a selection of beverages on hand, such as soft drinks, diet drinks, sparkling water, and ice-cold plain, filtered water. If you have a signature cocktail/mocktail, you could add that to the menu. Have your guests BYOB their own wine and beer, if that’s easier for you.

Tips for the Guest

• Keep your host in the loop about what you’re bringing. Let the host know ahead of time what you’ll need when you arrive so they can be ready. This includes logistics such as heating space in the oven or on the stove (if your dish needs to be warmed), refrigerator space, an open outlet to plugin an appliance, special dinnerware (such as bowls for soup), etc. Bring what you can, such as a serving spoon, a trivet, and containers for leftovers.
• Don’t change your dish without checking in with your host.
• Don’t fret if you don’t know how to cook. There are so many delicious potluck items you can bring, with little (or no!) know-how in the kitchen. Heat up some frozen rolls. Buy a pecan pie from the bakery. Stuffing and mashed potatoes are super easy (look for the tubs of prepared mashed potatoes at the grocery).
• Make sure your dish is secured for transport, so there’s no spillage or leakage.
• Arrive on time, not late, or — heaven forbid — early. If you want to volunteer to set up or clean up, let your host know, so that they can communicate what kind of help they need (and when!).
• Unless you’re certain that no one in the group has dietary issues, bring an index card listing all of the ingredients used in your dish, so that other guests can make good choices.
• Don’t bring a last minute plus-one, unless you clear it with your host AND you’re certain they’re being sincere about the thumbs-up, and not just awkwardly accommodating your whimsy. An extra person can throw off everyone’s dishes, if they made quantities based on the original guest list.

Food Ideas

Now to the good stuff! My suggestions below are loosely autumnal and/or Thanksgiving-related. Remember, you don’t have to stick to a strictly Thanksgiving theme with the typical T-Day dishes. The important thing here is gathering with your besties — enjoying the food y’all love is a better plan than fretting over what’s traditional.

Potluck Dishes

Appetizers & Snacks

Sweet Treats